Noel Edmonds

I've flown with the Red Arrows. Not once. Twice.

I drove a GT40 down the Tring bypass at 186 miles an hour. Naked. She was naked too.

I piloted Concorde on a scheduled flight from Washington to Heathrow.

Jackie Stewart taught me to race at Silverstone. James Hunt drove me into a tree.

News International hacked my phones and emails for three years, then confessed and paid me a significant amount of damages.

People comment on how youthful I look without realising I'm 87. I lied about my age at the Swap Shop audition. I was nine.

I landed my helicopter in the grounds of the UK's largest mental hospital. They put me in a padded room for four hours because they didn't believe my story. I only got out when the helicopter company came looking for me.

In 2018 it was reported I was paid £600,000 to go into the jungle. Not true. I didn't go. It was a lookalike.

I was President of the Association of Gateau Hurlers for five years. I was banned from the Grand Hotel in Brighton for delivering a particularly fine coffee cake to the face of a friend in a revolving door.

Mum and Dad drove this Mark 1 Ford Consul from Ilford to Monaco in the late fifties, when almost nobody did that sort of thing. It is firmly in my personal top ten.

I was President of the British Horse Society for three years. I took over from the Princess Royal, who wished me luck if I could get anything changed.

I used to own a rather unusual Routemaster. Liz and I drove it around Europe and had fabulous fun. What was unusual about it?

I got a bollocking from the head of Radio 1 for tampering with Terry Wogan's signature tune. I swapped the last sixty seconds for the sound of Desmond Duck. He laughed so much he couldn't speak.

After all these years, Blobby is still driving me nuts.

I was born in Ilford, Essex, so I could be nearer to my mother. She was so excited she took maternity leave so she would not miss my arrival.

Now you know why I grew a beard.

There are only fifteen different shaped cornflakes in a packet. Go and look.

The Earth is flat.

My cousin Rupert is always available to assist with your spiritual and pastoral needs.

Nothing is saved. Nothing is sent. Rupert has a terrible memory.

Why are we not allowed to visit Antarctica? There is a far more advanced civilisation on the other side of the ice wall.

Thank you for all the compliments, and it's very kind of you to say I don't look my age. So many of you ask for my secret. I do have a five part Positivity Formula, which I'll be publishing right here in the coming weeks. Yes: before Christmas you'll be able to look like me.

I met my hero Neil Diamond for a Radio 1 interview at the Park Lane Hotel. He'd only just stepped off a plane and at one point I genuinely thought he'd fallen asleep. It has never once diminished my respect for one of the great icons of music.

What is the definition of Health? Ask a dozen doctors and you will get a dozen answers. So what do you think it is?

During Live Aid I flew Phil Collins in my helicopter from Wembley to Heathrow, so he could be the only artist to play on stage in the UK and then in America on the same day.

My Christmas Day show featured a first: a live music performance while a jumbo jet took off from Gatwick behind it.

My great grandfather Nigel, who fell at the battle of Milton Keynes.

Liz and I met the great Dolly Parton at her home. Absolutely charming, if a little overpowering.

The Radio 1 football team struck fear into the hearts of the opposition.

Actually I think I look quite good for my age.

Norma was a very enthusiastic fan who came all the way from Scotland, regularly, to meet me after my Sunday show.

The secret's out.

We bought some lobsters out of a tank in a shop and released them back into the wild, and in doing so unleashed every idiot on the planet. Now the penguins want us to help them.

Now he's a real sporting hero.

Did we actually go to the moon? Somebody on the internet has had a proper look.

@thebrainrotreels

Alan Yentob, controller of BBC One, and me celebrating a new landmark contract. You're quite right, he doesn't look very happy. I was over the moon with the deal.

Turns out we were never all in the same boat. Some of us had a yacht.

@kindnestquest

Judging the aviation Concours at the Goodwood Revival in 2024.

A very good drawing of a bird. That is the entire post, and I enjoyed it enormously.

@plantsconnection

The charismatic Eddie Jordan, who on this occasion admitted I had out-shirted him.

Being cheerful whatever the circumstances is apparently a superpower. Fifty years I have been doing it and nobody has given me a cape.

@third_eye_thirst

Music is not entertainment, it is neurological intervention. Which rather makes me a doctor.

@growwithcolby

I reckon the mechanics thought that once the cameras stopped rolling I would be off to hospitality.

How Spotify royalties actually work. Sit down before you watch this one.

@itspoppyreid

Oh come on now, admit it. We do scrub up well.

The Recording Academy's own chief executive reckons the music industry is cooked. He would know.

@nolabelsnecessary

Ever the businessman. In the seventies I opened my own record shop on the King's Road, and my good friend Elton John officially opened it. Do you like the tank top?

Somebody shouting encouragement at artists in enormous letters. Rather effective, actually.

@codeymoonsun

The music, the music business, and the music industry. Three different things that everybody insists on treating as one.

@topmusicattorney

My battle scarred Escort on the Tour of Britain, shortly before I rolled it off the side of the Brecon Beacons. Sorry, Gill.

A man and a bee, having a moment. We would be nowhere without them and they know it.

@organicenforcer

In my radio days I did have some odd ideas. On the Sunday show I had the theatre legend Sir John Gielgud reading Thomas the Tank Engine stories. Unusual content for a pop music station. So were the funny phone calls, and the snooker on the radio.

The genius of starting your own thing. Or the madness. Fine line, and I have been on both sides of it.

@topmusicattorney

I have absolutely no idea why I'm in a photograph with Paul Daniels, Esther Rantzen and the That's Life team.

A science tip. I have read it three times and I am still not entirely sure.

@the.science.nerds

A man in Nashville asking a question about radio. I should probably declare an interest.

@zackmassey

One of the few pictures of my older brother Nigel, who, because I lied about my age, is actually two years younger than me.

Noel's House Party

1991 to 1999

Eight series of it, and somebody has put the lot online. Crinkley Bottom, the Gotchas, and seventeen million people watching a man get covered in gunge.

I was given the tremendous honour of driving the five millionth Mini off the production line. No wonder it features in the top ten cars of my life.

My first day at Brentwood School.

Gerry Marsden and me, filming in Liverpool. I was totally overwhelmed to meet him and he was completely charming. Everything I could have hoped for from somebody who was such an important part of my teenage years.

Multi-Coloured Swap Shop

1976 to 1982

Three hours of live Saturday morning television held together with a telephone number.

Telly Addicts

1985 to 1998

Families on sofas, being asked what happened in an episode they watched eleven years ago. This one is from September 1987.

Deal or No Deal

2005 to 2016

Three thousand shows, twenty two boxes, and a banker who never once showed his face. Series four, episode one.

Radio 1 breakfast

1973 to 1978

The seventh of December, 1973. Getting up at an hour that no longer exists.